Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops