Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

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A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

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What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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Nero: Farewell to my past last part aka No more forced psychiatric evaluations for me. My psychiatric evaluator asked me why I consider myself a souless demon and not a man. My answer was: My mothers name was Maria, my brothers name is Kristoffer and my real father (which I only met once which was meaningless) is a Chatolic priest. Then I showed her (my psychiatric evaluator) my passport, my name is not Nero Angelo, nor whatever my parents might have told others but rather Angelo Nero. So lets conclude shall we? Nero Angelo = Angel black. and some Capcom shit. Angelo Nero = Says on my birth certificate, means Black Angel. Kristoffer= The sacrifice of Christ my half brother. Ricardo my non real father = which has nothing to do with Josef... Thank F*CK! So yeah, some of you might recognize me, but I have not met any family members the last 16 years, so if you where planing to judge me the next time you see me, you better run instead, because I will... "pacify" you for just watching while my parents waterboarded me, for just standing there while my mother tried excorzise me away while beating the crap out of me. I WILL "remove you, forever" the only family I got, are my 2.755 or so members of my movement Neronism, and my wife`s family, this is not a threat.... ...Its a promise to me, and to you. Make no mistake though, Neronism has over 60.000 members worldwide, but I dont care about them, enough is enough. Maria: My birthmother which claimed long before I was born that she was a virgin and as thus that she was giving birth to the anti-christ. (me, thanks mom) Then my psychiatric evaluator asked me if I truly believed I was a demon, where I told her that "human" is just a term, and that I know that calling myself a demon is just a way of coping with my past. She suggested that now that my troubles/parents are over/dead, that my need for her or anyone evaluating me further is over and she jokingly rated me a 100 percent "fresh" when I asked her if I was still a rotten tomato, so I am officially out from the "realm" of psychiatry (which I was forced to after killing my father in self defense). Its been fucking 27 years since, bt finally I am fucking happy... And the hell if there is humanity left in me... >:) M.Biso... I mean Nero. Merry christmas everybody, I know mine is not so bad after all... ill probably spend more time here, but farewell for now, and finally I can scratch the shit out of my ortopedic arm without getting PTSD`s of my non real father tearing my head off... AAAAAAAAAND all is good... Except the fucking itch...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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