Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

child labor

There once was this guy and he fell down

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Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

Knock Knock Whos there? Opportunity

little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

my wife out of the kitchen

How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...