What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

What do you call a blonde on anti-joke? Fairly paranoid because of the typical blonde stereotype.

an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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