If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Where do dinosaurs go on vacation? Dinosaurs are mainly extinct except for a select few such as crocodiles, which are arguably ancestors of dinosaurs. With this in mind, dinosaurs do not go on vacation because they are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q:what did the Aardvark say to the other Aardvark. A: nothing because Aardvark do not have the mental capacity to carry out basic conversations

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why didn't the mexiczn eat the black man's cooking? because it wasn't good

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I used to know what alzheimers was

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops