why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

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I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What do you get if you cross a horse with a cow? A horse and a cow.

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Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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