Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

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Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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Why are anti-jokes funny? They are not because they have no punchline and if you wern't a complete dumbass you would have the ability to read the description on the right off the page.

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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