What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

9/11

What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

Horse with a chair on his head.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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