Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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