A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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Why is jordan goldstein a fag cause he doesnt like my videos

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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why does beyonce sing " to the left, to the left"? - cause black people have no rights

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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I'm not gay (phrase) - A phrase commonly used by straight men.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

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Poop

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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