Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

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What is the best part about having sex with tweny-six year olds. There are twenty of them. ap~pac

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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