What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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A kid walked into a bar and ordered a drink and then was arrested for drinking under the age of 18

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

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Tony Romo

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

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What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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What did the mentally retarded kid get in his iq test drewl

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your face

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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