when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler... Time to go to Aushcwitz

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Knock knock Whos there A dead boy a dead boy who A dead boy who started tobuy drugs and didn't have the money for it and his family loved him and he was going to go to college

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A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

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What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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Why did the black man repeatedly punch the white man? The two men were boxers. They were fighting in a charity boxing match. Revenue generated by the event went towards cancer research.

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What has two legs and two arms? A Human

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops