How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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why was the movie rated PG 13? mild violence and sexual content

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727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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What's the difference between a Chinese guy and a bucket of fried chicken? There are numerous differences.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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What has wheels and is green all over? Grass... I was just kidding about the wheels.

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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what to call someone thats gay zak

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Knock Knock. There was no answer.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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