Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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Knock knock Whose there? 4

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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why didn't love legs cross the road because he had no balls

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What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding the holocaust? A worm

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

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What drops its lunch every day? Yo mom

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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Why was the woman sad on her 21st birthday? Because she was born on September 11,1980

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YO FACE

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Someone born in the 1970s feeling self-righteous about defending the victims.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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