What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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