Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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YO FACE

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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i just wrote this so hard

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a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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What is the name of Steven Hawkins condom.... Anti virus

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Why did the blonde kid that was really gay He got a bad case of HIV

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when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Someone born in the 1970s feeling self-righteous about defending the victims.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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