Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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Your so gay, that you like men!

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Get up Look in the mirror

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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Fine, ladies first.

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

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DILDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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