Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

where is the world?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

thumb_up thumb_down -5

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops