There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck says that he should get his doctor on the phone because his hullucinations are getting worse.

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My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

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Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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A white guy a black guy and a mexican are in a car and the car crashes and blowes up who dies? They all die cuz they all were in the car when it blew up

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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What's the point of going to college? There is none.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

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What did Robert Kardashian say at O.J.'s most recent trial? Nothing. He died of esophagal cancer

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Where can I apply for janitor school?

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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