What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

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someone called someone else a frog

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

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knock knock who's there? hope

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

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http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+funny&hl=en&safe=active&biw=1024&bih=398&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=lc8_fNCatYHOqM:&imgrefurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/harry-being-typical-harry/&docid=86Gw8eNJ73tOYM&imgurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/harry-styles-300.jpg&w=300&h=400&ei=q4vHT9XwHYL48gSJoJzJDw&zoom=1

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem is stupid.

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Why did the woman drop her keys? She was being raped.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops