How does Michael J. Fox mix his paint? He uses the paint mixing stick that is provided, for free, by most reputable hardware stores.

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Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

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A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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What is the difference between a bear and berries? No idea? You better stay out of the forest...

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Where did the AIDS victim go on vacation? To the hospital.

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a mission for N.A.S.A.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Jamie stegman put many doodles into his mouth, sometimes 2,3 even 5.

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What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 BIG black guys? The most common NFL Offence

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Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

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Why was was a black guy carrying a tv out of someone else's house. He was helping them move.

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How do you make a baby stop screaming? Pour acid down its throat.

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the story below is a truee story...unfortunately!!!!!!!!! :'(

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What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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3021 North Broadway Avenue

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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so three men walk into a bar and one is a priest.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops