A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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*Guy and Jar of Chunky Peanut Butter* Guy; "Hey you're chunky" Peanut Butter; "I know"

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What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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Every Good Boy Deserves Fibromyalgia

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

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Black people in Camden NJ.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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What did the POW say to his captor? I do not want to be waterboarded.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops