What's worse than cancer? Nothing.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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America. A land where if a girl sexual harrasses a guy would be a good thing.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Badabing.

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What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

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Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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