Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

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this last joke was a correction to the other one

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A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

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What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cause he was a chicken.

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Mr. T watched "the notebook"

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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what is more fun than shower time with adele. a mass gang bang with antonia

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How is matt and alicia going last after summer They won't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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