Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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Why are reading anti-jokes so funny? Im not sure, i just read them and laughter ensues.

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Why did Chuck Norris fall of the cliff? Because he was pushed.

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Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

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Q: Why did the man get stabbed? A: I don't know.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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What do you get when you kill justin beiber? A medal..

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

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Albert your flies undone.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

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How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

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what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

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What do you call a feminist that believes that all women have just as many rights as men? Stupid.

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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Charlie Sheen is winning

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

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How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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