Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

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Bob: Your mama's so fat, she rolled over four quarters and made a dollar! Todd: YOur mama's so fat, here's a picture of her tied up in my basement. Todd wins the insult war.

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Why did the fungus leave the party? Truffle.

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What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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what do you call a black guy falling down a hill? A hiker with an inconveniance you racist son of a bitch

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I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

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Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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John Cena

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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I got a boner from the waitress touching my shoulder, please dislike this

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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