What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

willam dafoe

How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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