What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

Irish sobriety

Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

What do you call a man running away from the bus? A man

Everything's looking fine, ma'am. Hope to see you again real soon.

An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

Mitt Romney

If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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