Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Firgen and the blung brigade

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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What's faster than a black man carrying your TV? The law enforcement that promptly catches him and is about to charges him with theft regardless of his ethnicity because stealing someone else's property is just generally an unlawful thing to do.

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

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i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops