why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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penis

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

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"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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