Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE? LET THE POOR CHICKEN IN PEACE! No, seriously he was going to his mother's funeral.

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A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

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Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

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What did the monk give to the cancer patient? His love and reassurance.

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If i have a remote that can switch people to mute, the number 1 people will be asian, and it will be on the train.

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet,

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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an athiest walks into a church

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Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops