Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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a black guy walks into a park with a group of five other black guys. they then proceed to have a nice picnik and play frisbee with a little white boy.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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A bar walks into a man

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

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WHY DO IDIOTS RIGHT STUPID JOKES BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH THERE LIVES.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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NEVER

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

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Factors that can increase your risk of prostate cancer include: Older age Being black Family history of prostate cancer Obesity My friend's grandfather is black and obese, his 70th birthday is tomorrow and his dad died of prostate cancer

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops