Why was the fat lady on the Medicine ball? Because she was fat!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

what is red and smells like paint red paint

A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

LET

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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