There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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I am a mime

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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PSP its a nut you can play... Outside...

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No just stuff on the internet when I get bored, like on facebook and stuff, why a nurse? Whats wrong? Is he ill?

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Person 1: what is 2 + 2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: no Person 2: what is it than? Person 1: vagina

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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What's puby and dandruffy? Aodhan Hearty

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What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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