What do you call someone who copies a previously posted anti-joke without doing any research to see if it has been posted before? a lazy good for nothing rectum licking testicle sucking gonad gobbling arse bandit with narcissism issues

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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Why did the chicken cross the roard? There were no cars in the immediate vacinity and the chicken therefore came to a logical conclusion that it was a rational theorem on which crossing the road could be based.

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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69

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What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

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What do you get when you cross an orange with a gerbil? A mailbox that lights up when you open it

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

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How did the Jewish husband and stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

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How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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