Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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want to hear a yo mama joke sure Your dad

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

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Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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John Cena

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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Why do canadians have a lower violent crime rate than the U.S? Because they were all raped as children and are now afraid of getting raped again when bathing in prision.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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