What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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Joesph Triphook.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

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A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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Me: Hey frank, wanna die? Frank: No, why? Me: (Kills Frank) Frank: Dude why did you kill Frank?

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops