An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Oh, go away

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

quinn knows four other quinns but he ruined my life so he tells me to stop because im ruining this website but i disagree and now he is trying to tell me a joke and im not listening he is still trying but i don't care because i hate him,

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

thumb_up thumb_down -25

AHLTFKCITAWKSHTC

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did jim all I over? He dies

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

if any1 wants contact with me, nina, call me on my cell at 879-555-0934 im looking for a short, chubby man with a hungering taste of mexican taste

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops