How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

why did the mushroom go to the party? because he`s a fungi

Penis

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ME

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

That was slightly painful. I would appreciate it if you would stop such actions in the future

What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

Maths.

Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon.

Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

Do you want to hear a joke? No.

Im gay What about you

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

im @ work, LOL.

My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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