So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. Vincent

Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? no, but it was home to several endangered species that are now extinct

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

What do you call a Mexican with a lawnmower? The guy I'm thinking of is named Pedro. He works hard and takes care of his family.

Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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