COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

How did the black kid pass his exam? He studied.

whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination" and then he was resuscitated and became an atheist.

are u black unlucky

What's worse than HIV? AIDS -Bob Bobby

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Perhaps he didn't believe in banks.

What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

What do you call an African American woman with Tourettes? This question cannot be answered correctly. The African American woman was misdiagnosed. She is really a crack whore.

What do you call a black man with a club? Tiger woods.

Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

What's red, white, and blue? light purple

Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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