Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops