I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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A man is talking with his friend when suddenly he picks up a banana. He starts talking with the banana, and after a while of conversing the man sadly puts down his banana and says to his friend, "I'm sorry but your son has just died in a horrible accident."

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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i cant STAND cripple jokes

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man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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Q How do you know when a gay walks into a bar A Albert rushes over and starts feeling him up

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

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why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

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A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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BOB:i feall like a hotdog JOE:u r what u eat BOB:no wonder your a d!(k JOE:f*** u

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin doesn't say anything because it is a muffin.

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Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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Do you know what's impossible? A chink whos not smart.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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What did the man say to his doctor?

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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