What does a homeless man get for Valentines Day? Divorce papers

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Nothing, they're extinct.

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The kid wakes up in the middle of the night to get some water. But over hears sounds from his parents room. he looks through the keyhole. Then he comtinues walking and says. "Why does mom say i cant suck things?"

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Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

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Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

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A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

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A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

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What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

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how do you make Chuck Norris laugh? tell him an anti-joke.

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boobs.

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A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

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What's purple and smells like crap? Crap. I lied about the purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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