Two scientists walk into a bar, the pair walk up to the counter and the first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too." 10 minutes later, the second scientist dies.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she couldn't afford one.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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What has potential but is in fact disappointing? This joke.

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Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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Why did greg come to America? Because he wanted visit the states

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, dont read my words, says the ring of lords.

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Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A. That obviously depends on the size of the bathtub and each individual infant.

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SEX

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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What's big and gray and can't climb a tree? A parking lot.

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What did the snake say to the rat?

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Why was the boy dead? The boy was hit by a bus ran over by a train and stabbed to death by a murderer then put into a grinder for a meal for the murderer.

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How can you tell a blonde a brunette and a red head apart? Ask them if that is their natural hair color.

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How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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