Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

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There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

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roses are red violets are blue tulips are white daisies are yellow

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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Laugh

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Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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UN

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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How's the weather? Good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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