Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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Whats the difference between a car and a baby? I would have a hard time throwing a car.

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

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What does pooh bear call his grandma? Pooh nanny.

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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Q: what did the white man say to the black man? A: hi

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so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have AIDS".

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops