Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

speech and debate.

what did the rooster get for his birthday? nothing

What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

Have you ever noticed how those little packets of sweetner are really handy to have around when you like your coffee to be sweeter than its default bitterness?

Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

feminists.

what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

Steven hawkings shook my hand

What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

i killed my family

What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

What is the difference between a tree and a person? Trees don't scream when hit with an axe.

meh

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Amanda Knox walks home free.

A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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