everyone dislike this

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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Only steers and queers come from Texas and i dont see any horns on you so what does that mean? It means I am not a Minotaur.

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Roses were red Violets were blue Until the Fire nation attacked Now it's all black

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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what happened when the sports mascot ate a bean and cheese burrito? he shat inside his costume and got fired.

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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