Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

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why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

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I was going to write a racist joke but there was too many black people watching me.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have AIDS".

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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What are blacks scared of? The kkk

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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whats worse than a kane nothing

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin. You already told her twice.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

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“Ok, time for bed” … is what I said to the empty living-room. It was getting late, and the internet no longer amused me. I picked up my cell phone, rooted through the couch cushions until I located the remote, and turned off the television that had been nothing but background noise for the last few hours. I made sure the front and back doors were securely locked, walked around the back of the couch, and turned off the only light. A tap on the screen of my phone created just enough light to keep from busting a toe on an errant table leg. Because my cats have an evil tendency to lie in the middle of the hallway, I aimed the small amount of light from my phone directly in front of my tired and shuffling feet. I’d only covered a small distance before I knew, from many nights of this same regimen, that I was getting close to the bedroom door. At this point my arm started the slow upward arc that would eventually illuminate the now pitch-black opening to the comfort of my room. The light emanating from my cell was quite dim, and this action had become quite rote, so my arc was about waist level before I noticed a slight variation of the familiar black of the open doorway. At that point, and in a disturbingly short amount of time, five things happened nearly simultaneously: My arm, the arm carrying the phone, continued to rise in its predetermined arc, having been an object in motion which would stay in motion. I released a small gasp and exclaimed to my husband that his sudden appearance in the dark had startled the breath from me. I remembered that my husband was at work. The light arc reached its apex on a face of protruding nail-like teeth. A face suspiciously bereft of eyes, with a gaping, oozing, bloody pit where a nose should have been. The light went out.

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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