when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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Joesph Triphook.

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Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

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it's funny because it's funny

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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F? No k

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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