If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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Your Black, Im Black, We're all Black

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why couldn't the boy use the computer He could i meant could

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why did those sick people do 2 girls 1 cup? me and my sister got bores.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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